Don't Let Them Define You

I just wanted to share a few words of wisdom that have been passed down from generation to generation. This is something that women are told but is something that we seldom remember. While this is my own take on this advice I think the idea is apparent and must be committed to memory for LIFE.

"As strong women, we must be able to differentiate between a man's opinion of us and our opinion of ourselves."

If there are things that we as individuals want to change about ourselves, we should do so for ourselves and not because someone else told us we needed to. We all know the saying, "Love yourself first". This goes right along with this important advice in that it is critical to always remember who we are and to never let others sway our opinion of this- men or women.

A long time ago, I was in a relationship that I thought I was supposed to be in. I thought I had found the perfect person but what I didn't realize is that throughout the entire relationship, I was trying to tell myself that he wasn't right. He made me someone I wasn't and made me think I was crazy, literally. In reality, he was not the right person for me and I was screaming out to wake myself up. He didn't give me what I needed; he wasn't sensitive or engaging and only enjoyed attention but rarely affection. It was totally the opposite of what I wanted in a relationship but I didn't listen to myself.

Along the way, as our relationship deteriorated and my heart continued to scream that he wasn't the one, I started believing him and thought it was all me. I started believing that I was that person and that it was all my fault.

It wasn't.

As all relationships go, it was both of us. He was wrong for going along with it if I wasn't for him and I was wrong for not listening to myself. Very wrong. I knew along and because I didn't listen myself and allowed a man to "define" me, I lost a year of my life, friends who took his side, and probably a couple years off my entire life.

Don't do it. Don't make this mistake. Don't let them define you.