More Selfish with Age?

As a child and growing adult, you believe things will change as you get older; you think you will be more wise and grateful for life. You think you will make better decisions and react with more dignity. You believe that you will be a better person; more kind and caring and less abrupt and selfish.

I wished this for my own life and hoped that as I aged I would grow to become the best person I can be. I think we are who we are but we continually learn how to interact with friends, family and society in general; we learn how to live in our world. We grow and learn every day of our life...

I hoped I would grow and lose some of the selfish qualities I had acquired over the years. However, I feel like I am still in a place that I wished I would be far from now. I am not sure how I feel about this and as I come to a new stage in my life, I worry how I will react to the inevitable changes and curves that life will throw my way.

Of course I still have a lot to learn and will never be finished growing as an individual but I know I have evolved and truly like who I am as an individual and as a wife. While I feel like I have finally arrived to a new level of life and should be able to continue on, there is still something holding me back. I feel like I am holding on to some selfish aspects but unfortunately cannot let them go... and I don't know if this is going to stunt my growth or if it will help me grow and learn.

I know I have come to another fork in my road; where one way will take me to the best place for this period of my life, and where the other way will take me to a place that may be harder but where I will learn a lot more about myself. Either way, I know that I have to stand up for what I believe in and even though it may be selfish, I think it is what I need to do at this point in my life.

I think...